Circumstances over the last 2-3 weeks have forced me to take a good, long, hard look at myself; at who i am versus who i think i am. At what i do versus what i want to do… and what i can currently do.
I’ve tried to do this ‘realistically’, which is actually quite a difficult thing to do because:
a) My brain never has and never can see anything ‘realistically’ – as it actually ‘is’ – it just sees things as i ‘want’ to see it and as I believe ‘it’ is, and that is far from ‘realistic’. Our brains all have an inbuilt bias to see ourselves in a particular ‘light’, often a more favourable one than we deserve, in truth, but a few of us, through circumstances in our past’s see our ‘reality’ and ourself (mostly) in a less than favourable way. The main point being – we have inbuilt biases that prevent us from ever seeing ‘Truth’ or the Reality (at least about ourselves) fully and accurately.
b) What is ‘Real’ is different for each and every single one of us, because each and every one of us has experienced (smaller and different) aspects of a much larger totality of ‘Reality’. None of us is ever really capable of seeing the much bigger picture we are all playing a part in. This causes problems, in the form of opposing opinion and beliefs, within every society and individual on the planet.
It is this latter part, combined with a better understanding of my own personal biases towards ‘Love’ and what it is, and should be about (not always the same thing for us individual humans), that has led me to the inescapable conclusion that my blog’s title, and the idea i had that it encapsulated, is not now going to, indeed, will not ever, happen.
As a result i’m closing this blog and this will be my last post as ‘love’ or LWBUT (Love Will Bring Us Together – for those who never figured it out.) From now on, if i post, it will just be as plain old Bob. I’d like to keep my ‘Brain’ blog happening, but…… (there is always a BUT)…. we’ll see.
LWBUT was a fantasy, plain and simple. Something ‘real life’ never is (unless you’ve decided to see it that way, but then it’s just that way for you – reality continues on in the way it is designed to do for everyone else in your community around you, which actually is unimaginably complicated and complex, since it involves so many different parts and participants). How soon would we die of boredom if everything was plain, simple and predictable and we all liked and did the same things??***
Life contains many, many forms of polarities: Positives and negatives, good and bad (some may use the term ‘evil’), light and dark, black and white, up and down, etc, etc, etc. Expecting somehow i could help something as ambiguous as ‘Love’ help everything ‘come together’, or even as little as 2 people come together (or even one person get ‘it’ together?) – bring ‘us’ together, was a ludicrously idealistic and immature fantasy that was always doomed to fail as it was not built upon any kind of ‘solid’ foundation or understanding of ‘reality’ – especially not my own.
A large part of the unreality of my blog is that i only ever show a very small part of who i really am – mostly the best bits – out of an ego-based mind set. People then form an unrealistic opinion of who they think i am and what my blog is saying (which is mostly half-truths, and that’s being generous!) because i never post anything about the Bob that shows me in a less than attractive light. I’ve had to look more closely at that ‘half’ of who i am quite a bit lately and it’s not a pretty sight up this close. (And time is NOT ‘helping’ any!)
Life is meant to have the good AND the bad, the positive and the negative, The Republicans and the Democrats (OK – maybe that is pushing it a bit too far – do we really need Republicans??) 😉 Sure, most of us seem to get more of one than the other, but overall things tend to average out, just not exactly evenly for every person or for any one given ‘aspect’ of life, such as: money, love, happiness, depression, health, mental health, etc, etc.
Love IS a very great and powerful thing, some claim it is the Most powerful thing, but Love can sometimes seem to be ‘cruel’ to be ‘kind’ (In the Right Measure! See video below). To greatly Love implies there can be great suffering also. Embodied perfectly in the form of the Love of Jesus for His Father, and His Sacrifice for all mankind. (Whether we appreciated it, or asked for it, or felt like we ‘needed’ it, or not).
For no greater love is there than this: that a man lay down his life for his fellow man. (John 15:13)
We live for a limited time and all things of this Earth, including ourselves, end and often not when we were expecting them to. If we have joy in something, if we love something, it is reasonable to assume we will have pain and sadness when we no longer have it. This is inescapable, yet frequently taken for granted and never given much thought until we feel the pain of loss. (And at such times rarely are we in the mood, or right frame of mind, for sound and fair analysis.)
The only way to be ‘happy’ (or content perhaps?) is to be grateful in ALL circumstances, in good times and bad times, no matter what happens to you, or to others; that you can somehow find a way to be grateful for each and every circumstance you experience and accept and embrace it for what it can add to your knowledge and wealth of your experiences in the time you have to live here on this Incredible Planet Earth which we all have to share together.
So – in the words of the late, great Douglas Adams…
So long, and thanks for all the FISH! 😉
My sincerest apologies to all those who have posted so many wonderful and supportive comments here or on their own blogs, or, who i may have mislead into thinking i was something more or better than i really am. Your kindness was deeply appreciated, but i truly am not who you thought i was. I am grateful for having ‘met’ the pieces of you that you have all kindly shared on-line.
Time for me to face, and more to the point to start to deal with/in, the ‘Reality’.
Bye bye from love.
*** This is an all too common error of logic in some arguments were we tend to think that the opposite of ‘A’ can only be ‘Z’ and there must only be a choice between those two ‘opposites’. Options ‘B’ through ‘Y’ (and all options 1 through to infinity) are valid and available and could involve some parts of A as well as some (the best 😉 ) parts of Z. ‘Simple and predictable’ is not necessarily good or even preferable to ‘complex and complicated’ which is not necessarily a bad thing, but we can often only see them as black and white issues and disregard all the ‘grey’ areas.
The current example that really sucks big time is in the climate change ‘debate’ when pro-environmentalists want fossil fuel (coal and gas) power plants shut down and coal exporting banned and the ‘realists/economy profiteers’ say it will ruin the economy and cause massive job losses (A and Z) . What the latter totally disregard is the massive opportunity for economic development of new industries providing sustainable power production in massive quantities (Australia could be a leading exporter of power to many other countries), producing millions of new jobs in construction, design, engineering, science and technology administration, trade, etc, etc,that would replace the proven dangerous and over a century old ‘technology’ of burning coal to make steam to power a turbine for power.