Terrible Poetry – Fractured Nursery Rhymes

I’ve taken up ChelseaannOwens‘ terrible poetry challenge again.

This time the theme is: Fractured nursery rhymes.

Rhyming for this one – as per the style of the original rhyme!

(Entries for this week close Friday 18 October, 8:00 AM some weird American time).

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(Originally Sing a Song of Sixpence)

Sing a Song of Christmas ( or Four and Twenty Relatives)

 

Sing a song of Christmas,
A stocking full of gifts.
Parents folding wrapping paper,
Taking it in shifts.

Children demanding i-Phones,
Lego kits and Apps;
Money is no object,
At least while the credit lasts.

The relatives are coming
Quick! Lock the door!
There’s only eight of them
But they eat like there’s twenty four!

Too much ham, turkey and stuffing
Pudding up to here.
Wine and beer flowed in a torrent,
Overdone it again this year.

Take the lights and decorations down,
Stuff ’em in a box;
Then find a nice, dark, quiet place,
with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a strip of ten Stilnox.

Stilnox

Love.

16 comments

    • Thank you Judy.

      I need to put more effort into them to make them truly terrible – i’m mostly happy if they just come out a little out of scansion and they rhyme! 😉

      Stillnox is a brand name sleeping tablet (Ambien??)

      Probably not the greatest companion to Jack Daniels, but after Christmas many would not be too concerned. 😉

      Like

        • I can see how you would struggle with the concept. 🙂

          The way i see it is that Chelsea, in offering the Terrible Poetry challenge, is recognising that many people would not enter a poetry challenge that seeks to find the best poet because they feel their poetry would not be ‘good’ enough, that sometimes it can be seen as slightly ‘elitist’ and this opens poetry up to a wider range of contributors.

          It’s sort of like Bereaved Dad entering in a bake-off for example, even given his ability to produce baked goods that a garbage disposal unit would reject. 🙂

          Like

  1. I actually think there can be a sort of brilliance in really bad writing. Have you ever read The Young Visiters? Although it was written most sincerely and wasn’t written to be terrible on purpose, its humor is derived by its unintentional lack of skill and naivete.
    .
    “The Young Visiters or Mister Salteena’s Plan is a 1919 novel by English writer Daisy Ashford (1881–1972). She wrote it when she was nine years old and part of its appeal lies in its juvenile innocence, and its unconventional grammar and spelling. It was reprinted 18 times in its first year alone.”

    To intentionally write a terrible piece I think would be harder than to write a good one so I didn’t mean to demean the concept! You deserve your plaudits.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know about deserving my plaudits – truth is i’m not real good at riting bad poums! 😉

      (Writing poems badly is another thing altogether!)

      Had not heard of Ms Ashford or ‘The Young Visiters’ but having read some early schooler’s essays and answers to questions in several articles i can imagine the humour and appeal her work as a 9 year old might have generated. 🙂

      I would agree with you, i think it would be harder to write terrible poetry… unless one had a fondness for writing poetry and was especially ungifted but believed otherwise. 🙂

      Or if you are a Vogon! (Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ reference).

      Liked by 1 person

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