A man says he has Swine Flu.
His mate asks “How do you know it’s Swine ‘Flu??”
“Easy – i’m covered in rashers!”
grooooaaannnnnnn. 🙄
I warned you. Now go tell your family – you KNOW you wanna! 🙂
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“The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.”
“When you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because
alcohol kills germs. So…… I put on my mask, walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!!!”
My favorite:
“What do you call a swine flu outbreak at a lawyers conference?”
“A good start.”
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Hahahahahaha – the only flaw i can see in the whole argument above? Alcohol is known to kill brains cells!
i think i need the few i have left 😉
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too awesome..
So many jokes around here…its becoming an epidemic. (ha..lame start I am aware)
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Joseph- i totally deserved that! 😉
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WHY do i not get the first one?
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Ummmm… ( Desperately thinks of way to avoid stating obvious blonde connection)…
Nope – can’t do it! 😯
‘Swine’ Flu – started with Pigs,
Pigs are made into pork and…. bacon.
Bacon Rashers are slices of – well – Bacon!
Man covered in rashers (Rashes – A Rash being a sign of illness)
Swine Flu?
Yes? 🙂
Maybe i should have gone with: “I rang the Swine Flu Hotline but all i got was a lot of Crackling!” ??
My Girlfriend woke up this morning and found she had pigtails – should i be worried?? 😉
Yeah – i should have stopped while i was behind huh?
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so…is calling bacon “rashers” an aussie thing then? 🙂
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Awww Geee….
Water in your fried eggs, green onions and now no bacon rashers – just what kind of food do you HAVE in Texas??? 🙄
OK – It is definitely an ‘Aussie’ thing but we probably copied it from the origin of the English language – England.
Here we would normally buy the equivalent of what you might call a slice or strip of streaky bacon AND ‘Canadian ‘ Bacon having both the lean eye and more fatty ‘streak’ all in one rasher.
We buy Ham by the slice, or ‘shaved’ (or sometimes a ‘steak’) but always buy bacon by the rasher. What you call ‘Canadian’ bacon we would call a ‘short cut’ of bacon as it is a rasher cut in half – we would not normally sell the ‘wasted’ or streaky fatty half on it’s own.
Anything else i can help with – cooking wise? 🙂
How about any Aussie translations, Cobber?
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I told them, they thought I was quite the funny one 🙂
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so you seriously made me laugh out loud, friend. bless my heart. i cain’t halp it i’m a texinn.
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Rain – a little (sick) humour never hurts 😉 my problem is just about ALL my humour is sick! 😯
J-R – i have to be careful, my ‘Sis’ Michelle is from Texas too 🙂
You still my #1 Homey tho’, Cobber 😉
And i’m smiling BIG you got a lol from what i write 😀
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