Computer Geek Speak Explained…

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

– CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
– PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
– ISDN: It Still Does Nothing.
– HTML: How To Mess-up Logically.
– SCSI: System Can’t See It
– MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
– Teraflops: Used for measuing one’s fear of losing huge amounts of processor data.
– DOS: Defunct Operating System
– WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
– OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
– PnP: Plug and Pray
– APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
– IBM: I Blame Microsoft
– DEC: Do Expect Cuts
– MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
– CA: Constant Acquisitions
– COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
– LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
– MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
– AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
– USB: Unnecessary surplus bling.
– WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

Perspective.

Some, if indeed not all of us, have an over-inflated sense of self worth. Now i know some of you will scoff loudly at the thought but it is, in fact, True.

This is actually not an all-together bad thing, because, if we ever did think of ourselves in true Perspective with relation to our Universe – we just might never get out of bed in the morning.

These 3 following photographs of True Reality might give you all just a glimpse of what i am on about – or not.

(Clicking on each pic should help you see them better).

What’s that? Mandy is not out of bed yet???…

Photo 1: Planet Earth taken from a paltry 4 ooo ooo ooo miles away (some 6 or so light hours or about one 1500th of a light year away. Just a tiny bit outside our own solar system of sun and eight planets).

palebluedot

If you can’t see the dot (planet Earth) click on image to expand it.

Photo 2: a SMALL section of sky looking into the centre of our own Milky Way Galaxy. Every dot is a single sun – some much bigger than our own and a considerable number of them having more planets than our own Star, the Sun does.
milky-way-core

Photo 3: Grab a ballpoint pen go out into the open air on a clear night and look at a ‘dark’ section of space. Hold out your pen at arms length. Try to focus on the ball of the ballpoint. Move it just a little bit. This photo is of what you have just uncovered in deep space from behind the ball. ONLY from behind the ball in the tip of the pen!
ballpoint-tip

Those are not individual stars – they are entire galactic star systems of millions to billions of stars – comparable to our sun. And our entire planet is that smallish dot in the top band of light in the first photo. And even from ‘close up’ (inter-stellarly speaking)Β  no-one could make you out as you live your life on the surface of that dot.

That’s ‘Perspective’.

Could you live with that?

Like i said – some of us have an inflated view of our ‘place’. Maybe we need to?

If You Haven’t Seen This Before….

(and, like me, you have an appreciation of the absurd and just plain ridick-u-luss)

…you prolly should – before it disappears for ever…

… like the links on the page already have.
big-red-button

THE REALLY BIG BUTTON (That doesn’t do anything)

Clicking on the link in RED SHOULD do ‘something’ πŸ˜‰

(Blog owner’s note: If you are stupid bored enough to read the comments as far down as jrh’s you will find the answer to all of ‘life’). πŸ˜€

Some words and numbers…)

i love ‘clever’ jokes and i had not seen this one before today:

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

it is a quite remarkable ‘quirk’ of a counting system of use to computer programmers – the OCTal system (meaning it is based upon multiples of 8 and not the ‘normal’ counting system using 10 as a base).

Because our counting uses 10 digits as the base it is sometimes known as the DECimal system.

We all know (DEC) 25 = 2 x 10 + 5, but 25 also = 3 x 8 +1 which is written in OCTAL as: 31

So Dec 25 = Oct 31 ! clever! πŸ™‚

A Friend of mine is having to learn English for the first time in her 40’s ( She was born in Europe!)

We all use some form of English every day ( those of you who read these posts that is!) πŸ˜‰Β  and most of us manage quite well, but just HOW do you write down a set of rules that explains words like these so someone can learn how to say them (let alone USE them correctly)??

CHurCH CHrist;?

RouGH GHost ThrouGH; ?

PHoto PHone Film uPHold; ?

Blue, Few, To, Too Two Shoe, etc, etc. ?

On One, Con Cone, Cor Core Ore Or, Of AWE?

TearΒ  (as rhymes with ‘ear’) and Tear (as rhymes with rare)

or the right use of simple phrases like ‘On the Road’, ‘In the road’ or ‘down the road’ or ‘at the road’?

And then try to explain why Furniture Polish from Poland would be Polish Polish? ( Poe – Pol)

The potential confusions are endless – in English.

Learning it with the relatively uncluttered and still forming brain of a 7 year old is one thing – when all your logical skills have been ‘fixed’ for over thirty years trying to find some sense in our language becomes a hundred times harder.