Simple English ( – part the second)

The last one went down well! Hope you get a smile (and a think) over this one…

The English Language Must Goe
( or: Don’t have a Cough, Man!)

Doe: a deer, a female deer.
Foe: the enemy, one to fear.
Hoe: we use to till the ground.
Joe: just a name we throw around.
Moe: a stooge with Larry and Curly.
Poe: a poet sombre and surly.
Roe: fish eggs some like to chew.
which brings us up to
Shoe??
which seemingly should rhyme with Show,
as in Toe or Tow, which should, but doesn’t, rhyme with Vow!
or Cow, or Bow, or is that Bough?
Or Cough?
Or Dough, or Sew, or Know, or No, or Owe?
Or Through, or Blue, or Blew? (which do rhyme with Shoe!)
as does (that’s ‘duz’ not ‘doos’ – which rhymes with Shoos,
er, i mean Shoes!) Due and Dew and Moo
and You and Who

else?

I think the English Language must Goe Gew Gow Gowe Gough Go! ( i think?)

love- July ’95

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52 thoughts on “Simple English ( – part the second)

  1. I am playing out this SNL skit in my mind where they’re parodying Sesame Street using your poem.

    Big Birds says, “Today kids we are going to learn how make the long-O sound using any random combination of characters. It will be FUN!”

    Excellent. Now do you have more recent work in rhyme? Or should I say rime? wrime? rhime? rheim?

    Some more thoughts your poem dredged up:
    Why have the letteras K and S at all? I mean, C has us cover with both sounds. Why Q? Doesn’t Q sound like KW? And doesn’t X sound like K or Z depending on the word…

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  2. I wonder if Love’s blue shirt ever blew in the wind before? I’ll bet it happened when he looked at the new gnu at the zoo… 🙂 I’ll bet he was so hungry he ate eight pancakes…then won one more. 🙂

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  3. i no Cathi – i miss those too up ALL the thyme! Sorry. steel love moi??? 😀

    so. is there an easy rule to remember which (e)affect to use?

    loopy minds wnana know!

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  4. another killer???
    Then – Than
    oh, heavens…

    [tam, think affect = impact, effect = result ….best I could do for now…if all else fails, just use the word “buttons”…not b/c it’s right, just b/c I like the word]

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  5. Good morning Cathi, Tam, Mich, and Lovester! And all the guys way up, and all the guys who will follow this post. Now, did I miss someone? 😉

    Mich, thanks so much! It’s lovely, lovely!

    Affect and effect.

    Hehehehehe.

    I love the former. Just add -ion and you’ve got something heartwarming! 🙂

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  6. Morning Sherma 🙂

    if you missed someone i hope neither you nor they will be upset over it 🙂 – missing anyone was possibly better English grammar but you are far to young to be a gramma – lol

    Effect-ively, depending on the tense intended, you’ve got and you’ll get are equally good 🙂

    Said with great affection 🙂

    How’s that ‘Buttons’?
    Love affects me – the effect is supreme.:-)

    i think of them as:

    A-ffect is more ‘personal’/emotion.
    E-ffect is impersonal/result.:-)

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  7. an aussie just moved in our apartment building. his accent is faint, ’cause he grew up with missionary parents in the Philippines, and has been a missionary there as well.

    maybe he’ll teach me the queen’s english???

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  8. Tam- YES! and that’s an order! – Please? 🙂

    Darla – love you too 🙂

    Sherma – do i need to look those up?

    Tam? do you speak Ilokano??

    Mandy – I don’t think so – most Aussies are not that keen on the Kween – I am a rarity here. ( or anywhere for tha matter 😉 )

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