Simple English ( – part the second)

Posted on June 9, 2008 by lovewillbringustogether

The last one went down well! Hope you get a smile (and a think) over this one…

The English Language Must Goe
( or: Don’t have a Cough, Man!)

Doe: a deer, a female deer.
Foe: the enemy, one to fear.
Hoe: we use to till the ground.
Joe: just a name we throw around.
Moe: a stooge with Larry and Curly.
Poe: a poet sombre and surly.
Roe: fish eggs some like to chew.
which brings us up to
Shoe??
which seemingly should rhyme with Show,
as in Toe or Tow, which should, but doesn’t, rhyme with Vow!
or Cow, or Bow, or is that Bough?
Or Cough?
Or Dough, or Sew, or Know, or No, or Owe?
Or Through, or Blue, or Blew? (which do rhyme with Shoe!)
as does (that’s ‘duz’ not ‘doos’ – which rhymes with Shoos,
er, i mean Shoes!) Due and Dew and Moo
and You and Who

else?

I think the English Language must Goe Gew Gow Gowe Gough Go! ( i think?)

love- July ‘95

Filed under: Humour, Opinion/Comment

« Home is where the Heart is I Really Need To Write More Posts!… »

52 Responses

  1. brandy, on June 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm Said:

    Okay, that is HILARIOUS!!!

    Which shows just another reason why English is one of the hardest languages for people to learn. :???:

  2. alece, on June 9th, 2008 at 9:28 pm Said:

    is your real name dr. seuss?

  4. tam, on June 10th, 2008 at 7:11 am Said:

    wow. you wrote that back when you were young.

    (er)

    :D

    what?!!

  5. kim, on June 10th, 2008 at 7:54 am Said:

    Brilliant. or Brillyunt.

  6. brainteaser, on June 10th, 2008 at 9:14 am Said:

    Great! (Or grate?)

    I think it should be greet.

    Eh?

    Grit.

    LOL!

    PS: Good one, Tam. Yours too, Kim. You both made me smile after I’m done ‘LOL’ing.

  7. lovewillbringustogether, on June 10th, 2008 at 4:58 pm Said:

    Dr Seuss?? i’m cuterer :-)

    AND Youngerer – thank you Tam! ( back when you were about Mandy’s age! ;-) )

    greet meet! or grat mat? :-)

    How hard can English be to learn? five year olds do it every day :-)

  8. cathi stegall, on June 10th, 2008 at 6:35 pm Said:

    english phonetics 101: remember that even if it looks right, it probably isn’t.

  9. tam, on June 10th, 2008 at 10:02 pm Said:

    stegall – than im never write

    :D

  10. lovewillbringustogether, on June 11th, 2008 at 12:08 am Said:

    Hmmm…??
    that ain’t right!

    But you DO look so right!

    so how could you not be right?

    but your statement then would be (right)?? and you probably isn’t?? – err.. aren’t!?

    I hate paradoxes! :-)

    <B

  11. ric booth, on June 11th, 2008 at 1:06 am Said:

    I am playing out this SNL skit in my mind where they’re parodying Sesame Street using your poem.

    Big Birds says, “Today kids we are going to learn how make the long-O sound using any random combination of characters. It will be FUN!”

    Excellent. Now do you have more recent work in rhyme? Or should I say rime? wrime? rhime? rheim?

    Some more thoughts your poem dredged up:
    Why have the letteras K and S at all? I mean, C has us cover with both sounds. Why Q? Doesn’t Q sound like KW? And doesn’t X sound like K or Z depending on the word…

  12. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 1:06 am Said:

    write!

  13. HisLifeformine, on June 11th, 2008 at 5:18 am Said:

    Yep, loving it. this is fun.

  14. cathi stegall, on June 11th, 2008 at 7:54 am Said:

    I’m waiting for your next poem on homonyms…those things intrigue me!
    dear – deer
    sea – see
    for – four – fore

  15. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 8:02 am Said:

    but – butt

  16. cathi stegall, on June 11th, 2008 at 9:50 am Said:

    not – knot

  17. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:03 am Said:

    beech – beach

  18. lovewillbringustogether, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:06 am Said:

    A rose is a roes is a rows :-)

    either whey it would still smell as wheat

  19. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:12 am Said:

    and he wakes

  20. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:13 am Said:

    honor – honour

    wait. that’s not right

  21. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:15 am Said:

    lets all meet (meat) for a sundae on Sunday

  22. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:16 am Said:

    and Love can give us a summary of his summery summer in Perth

  23. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:16 am Said:

    and i’m on a roll – role

  24. 1godsgal, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:25 am Said:

    I wonder if Love’s blue shirt ever blew in the wind before? I’ll bet it happened when he looked at the new gnu at the zoo… :) I’ll bet he was so hungry he ate eight pancakes…then won one more. :)

  25. lovewillbringustogether, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:25 am Said:

    A Tam on Rye??

    easy on the dressing! :-)

  26. lovewillbringustogether, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:25 am Said:

    lol – you folk are onederfull :-)

  27. tam, on June 11th, 2008 at 10:26 am Said:

    nice debbers!!!!

    come chat!

    Tam doesn’t like rye :?

  28. blessed1, on June 12th, 2008 at 11:23 am Said:

    This is brilliant….
    rough, tough, dough…hmmmm
    very confusing stuff…now that rymed!

  29. cathi stegall, on June 12th, 2008 at 10:49 pm Said:

    I love this too, two, to…
    one-won-Juan??? huh?

  30. ric booth, on June 12th, 2008 at 11:09 pm Said:

    This comment trail is giving me so MANY ideas.

    Thank Ewe.

  31. cathi stegall, on June 14th, 2008 at 1:50 am Said:

    most annoying one EVER…
    affect – effect

    come on, people!!!

  32. tam, on June 14th, 2008 at 3:53 am Said:

    i no Cathi – i miss those too up ALL the thyme! Sorry. steel love moi??? :D

    so. is there an easy rule to remember which (e)affect to use?

    loopy minds wnana know!

  33. tam, on June 14th, 2008 at 3:54 am Said:

    wnana?!?!?!

    that’s, “wanta banana” in little monkey love talk ;)

  34. Michelle, on June 14th, 2008 at 11:30 am Said:

    I’m so late on this one! Love it!!! ;)

    Here’s your very own Picassohead – I hope you like it!
    http://www.mrpicassohead.com/canvas.html?id=49b1d69&skin=original

    ♥ U

  35. lovewillbringustogether, on June 14th, 2008 at 1:00 pm Said:

    WOW – you are getting very good at this aren’t you Sis??

    i’m gonna frame it! and i love it! :-)

    and love you more! :-)

    is there nothing redheads can’t do?? :-)

  36. brainteaser, on June 14th, 2008 at 9:00 pm Said:

    Hi all!

    Brilliant, Michelle! You’re very good! :-)

  37. Michelle, on June 14th, 2008 at 10:16 pm Said:

    I’m glad you like it. ;)

    Thanks, Sherma, you’re next! :D

  38. cathi stegall, on June 15th, 2008 at 1:47 am Said:

    another killer???
    Then – Than
    oh, heavens…

    [tam, think affect = impact, effect = result ....best I could do for now...if all else fails, just use the word "buttons"...not b/c it's right, just b/c I like the word]

  39. tam, on June 15th, 2008 at 4:09 am Said:

    sure thing stegall! great answer! had quite a button on me.

    hmmm…that could work.

  40. tam, on June 15th, 2008 at 4:09 am Said:

    Love is sweet dreaming.

    ;)

  41. brainteaser, on June 15th, 2008 at 9:13 am Said:

    Good morning Cathi, Tam, Mich, and Lovester! And all the guys way up, and all the guys who will follow this post. Now, did I miss someone? ;-)

    Mich, thanks so much! It’s lovely, lovely!

    Affect and effect.

    Hehehehehe.

    I love the former. Just add -ion and you’ve got something heartwarming! :-)

  42. brainteaser, on June 15th, 2008 at 9:16 am Said:

    Ooopssss! Shouldn’t it be “anyone” and “and you’ll get something”?

    Now, I’m confused. :-(

  43. lovewillbringustogether, on June 15th, 2008 at 10:00 am Said:

    Morning Sherma :-)

    if you missed someone i hope neither you nor they will be upset over it :-) – missing anyone was possibly better English grammar but you are far to young to be a gramma – lol

    Effect-ively, depending on the tense intended, you’ve got and you’ll get are equally good :-)

    Said with great affection :-)

    How’s that ‘Buttons’?
    Love affects me – the effect is supreme.:-)

    i think of them as:

    A-ffect is more ‘personal’/emotion.
    E-ffect is impersonal/result.:-)

  44. tam, on June 15th, 2008 at 12:57 pm Said:

    not helping.

    thanks anyway.

  45. lovewillbringustogether, on June 15th, 2008 at 9:37 pm Said:

    gotta love me for trying! :-)

  46. brainteaser, on June 15th, 2008 at 10:10 pm Said:

    yay!

    Thanks! You just made a far-too-young-to-be-gramma feel bettah about her… uhmm… gramma! ;-)

  47. Darla, on June 16th, 2008 at 2:54 am Said:

    LOL I loved this! and its still hot here , and my connection is still not stable..but I got here today! so smiles all around! Love you Love!

  48. tam, on June 16th, 2008 at 3:19 am Said:

    @Love – I do?

  49. mandythompson, on June 16th, 2008 at 4:05 am Said:

    an aussie just moved in our apartment building. his accent is faint, ’cause he grew up with missionary parents in the Philippines, and has been a missionary there as well.

    maybe he’ll teach me the queen’s english???

  50. brainteaser, on June 16th, 2008 at 9:01 am Said:

    Morning friends.

    Hi Mandy! Ask him some Filipino words! ;-)

    Ask him what these mean:

    MAHAL KITA.
    MAGANDA KA.

    Hehehehehe.

  51. tam, on June 16th, 2008 at 9:39 am Said:

    Maybe when she meets him she should just say to him…”Mahal Kita”

    that oughta start things off quite nice

    :D

  52. lovewillbringustogether, on June 16th, 2008 at 12:44 pm Said:

    Tam- YES! and that’s an order! – Please? :-)

    Darla – love you too :-)

    Sherma – do i need to look those up?

    Tam? do you speak Ilokano??

    Mandy – I don’t think so – most Aussies are not that keen on the Kween – I am a rarity here. ( or anywhere for tha matter ;-) )

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